The Murphy Twins at the Pub

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Two Irishmen sitting in a pub in Dublin.

One turns to the other and asks, “Here… do I know you?”

The second replies, “I was about to ask you the same thing! What school did you go to?”

The first man replies, “I went to St. Brendan’s from 1954 until 1960.”

The second man’s eyes widen with surprise. “So did I! I was in class 2!”

The first man chimes up, “I was in class 2 as well! What part of Dublin are you from?”

The second man says, “I lived at 16 Foley Street my whole life.”

The first man excitedly replies, “What are the chances of that? I lived at number 16 Foley Street!”

And all the while, the poor barman thinks to himself, “I hate it when the Murphy twins get drunk.”

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It definitely wouldn’t be this one

I saw a guy carrying a screaming toddler across the parking lot.

He noticed me looking at him and said, “He’s mine. I’m not stealing him or anything.”

Before I could reply, he added, “If I was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn’t be this asshole.”

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Posted: June 7, 2026 (2 weeks ago)
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Topics: alcohol
Sensitivity: Clean