The Witch Doctor’s Second Opinion

A sailor on leave in the south Pacific finds that his whoring and carrying on has caught up with him and he’s come down with a horrible venereal disease of some kind. So, he consults the ship’s surgeon and is mortified when the doctor tells him that there’s nothing else for it — the organ must be amputated.

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Desperate for an alternative, he tries consulting local doctors, nurses, medicine men — whoever he can find. Way out in the boonies, he consults a witch doctor on the problem and explains that he desperately wants to avoid the amputation.

The witch doctor looks at him with a frown and a sigh. “Those western doctors — all they know how to do is cut, cut, cut! There’s no need for that.”

“So, we don’t have to amputate!?”

“Not at all. Two… three more weeks and it’ll fall off on its own.”

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Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a

Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a guy, City Slickers’ “I shit bigger than you” is probably my least successful.

Posted: June 14, 2026 (3 months ago)
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Topics: medical
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