Somebody’s gonna get some tonight!

A woman had a male parrot for a pet, but he always embarrassed her whenever she brought a man home. As soon as she walked in with someone, the parrot would squawk, “Somebody’s gonna get some tonight! Somebody’s gonna get some tonight!”

Finally, in desperation, the woman went to her local pet shop and asked the owner for advice.

“You need a female parrot to keep him company,” said the proprietor. “I can order one for you. In the meantime, you can borrow this female owl until she arrives.”

The woman took the owl home and placed it near her parrot. The parrot just stared at the owl in silence.

That night, she brought a gentleman friend back to her apartment. As soon as they walked in, the parrot screeched, “Somebody’s gonna get some tonight! Somebody’s gonna get some tonight!”

The owl blinked and asked, “Who? Who?”

And the parrot shouted, “Not you, you big-eyed bitch!”

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Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what

Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.

Posted: March 3, 2026 (7 months ago)
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Topics: animals, relationships, sex
Sensitivity: PG-13