Baptists and Catholics at a Party

Do you know how to keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer at a party?
Invite two Baptists.

Do you know how to stop a Catholic from drinking all your beer at a party?
Neither do I.

Heckle this joke

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If I had a time machine, I would use it for the benefit of others more needy than myself

If I had a time machine, I would use it for the benefit of others more needy than myself — like standing outside a movie theater until I heard someone say, “*There’s* two hours of my life I’ll never get back!” and I’d interject, “Well, have I got a deal for you!”

Posted: May 7, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: alcohol, religion, stereotype
Sensitivity: Clean