Energizer Bunny Dies From Backwards Battery Mishap

I’m saddened to announce the passing of The Energizer Bunny.

AP August 22, 1996 – The Energizer Bunny, known best for “going and going and going…” passed away last evening at 12:42am. Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming…

Foul play has not been ruled out.

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Posted: April 22, 2026 (4 months ago)
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Topics: death, pop culture, sex
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