Guide to the Male Vocabulary

1. “Haven’t I seen you before?” “Nice ass.”

2. “I’m a Romantic.” “I’m poor.”

3. “I need you” “My hand is oh so tired.”

4. “I am different from all the other guys” “I am not circumcised.”

5. “I want a commitment.” “I’m sick of masturbation.”

6. “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about” “You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”

7. “I really want to get to know you better.” “So I can tell my friends about it.”

8. “It’s just orange juice, try it.” “3 more shots, and she’ll have her legs around my head.”

9. “She’s kinda cute.” “I want to shag her till my dick drops off.”

10. “I don’t know if I like her” “She won’t let me shag her”

11. “I miss you so much” “I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good.”

12. “Was it good for you?” “I’m insecure about my manhood.”

13. “How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?” “Is my penis really that small?”

14. “I had a wonderful time last night.” “Who the hell are you?”

15. “Do you love me?” “I’ve done something stupid and you might find out.”

16. “Do you ‘really’ love me?” “I’ve done something stupid and you’re going to find out sooner or later.”

17. “How much do you love me?” “I’ve done something really stupid and someone’s on his way to tell you about it now.”

18. “I have something to tell you.” “Get tested.”

19. “I’ll give you a call.” “I’d rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.”

20. “I’ve been thinking a lot.” “You’re not as attractive as when I was drunk.”

21. “I think we should just be friends.” “You’re ugly.”

22. “I’ve learned a lot from you.” “Next!!!!”