Monday Sickness: A Suspicious Pattern

The company hires a new man. He was supposed to start work on a Monday, but instead of showing up, he calls his new boss. “I’m sick,” he says. Boss excuses him.

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The man shows up Tuesday morning and works throughout the week, greatly impressing everyone with his diligence and ability.

The next Monday, he once again calls his boss. “I’m sick,” he says. Boss reluctantly excuses him, but notices that this is the second Monday in a row.

Once again, the man shows up Tuesday morning and works throughout the week, even faster and better than the previous week.

The following Monday, he calls his boss again. “I’m sick.” Boss excuses him, but decides to call the man in to talk on Tuesday.

Tuesday comes and as soon as the man shows up, the boss calls him into his office. “What gives?” asks the boss. “I can see you’re a hard worker, but you’ve only been here three weeks and you’ve called in sick every Monday.”

The man says, “Well, my sister is in a bad marriage and I go over to console her every Monday morning before work. One thing leads to another, and we end up having sex all day long.”

“Your sister!” says the boss. “That’s disgusting.”

The man says, “I told you I was sick.”

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The U.S.

The U.S. Treasury has redesigned the $20 bill twice, yet never bothered with the $1 bill because its denomination is considered not worth counterfeiting. Personally, I think they’re overlooking the crucial strip-club factor.

Posted: April 20, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: family, work
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