My Husband’s Home!

Dave pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, “My wife must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!”

The bartender asked, “What makes you say that?”

Dave beamed with pride. “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work.”

“She was so thrilled to have me around that every time a mailman or delivery guy came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

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Neckwear for an Octopus

When choosing neckwear for an octopus, a bow tie is the way to go. A long tie is just likely to get tangled in the tentacles. Plus, most octopi believe that a bow tie makes them look like eccentric intellectuals rather than slimy cephalopods.

Posted: April 8, 2026 (6 months ago)
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Topics: deception, marriage, sex
Sensitivity: PG-13