A man walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
The man replies, “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.”
The bartender looks shocked and says, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you kill yourself.”
The man asks, “Well, what would you do in my situation?”
The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says, “If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife, I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself. I’d kill the guy.”
The man jumps up from his stool and shouts, “That’s a great idea! Thanks!” Then he runs out of the bar.
A couple of hours go by, and the bartender starts to get nervous. Then the man walks back in with a smile on his face.
“Did you kill the guy?” the bartender asks nervously.
“Nope,” the man says. “I slept with your wife. Whiskey, please.”
Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.
More chaos like this
Related punchlines from nearby corners of the joke swamp.
Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday
No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.
