Nine Martini Nightcap

Written by

in

A tired-looking gentleman walks up to a bar and asks the bartender quite explicitly for nine double martinis, extra dry, hold the olives, and to serve them all at once, right away. The bartender gives the man a curious look, but to no effect, and proceeds to mix and pour the man’s request. The gentleman picks up the first and turns it up quickly before the bartender can finish pouring even the second one, and proceeds to drink each one in turn.

Finally, the bartender has to ask. “Why all the drinks?”

“Celebrating!”

“Oh? What’s the occasion?”

“My first blowjob.”

“Well, congratulations. Let me give you one on the house to make it an even ten.”

“No thanks. If this doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth, another one won’t help any.”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

A ceiling rafter

I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today…

It turns out he was a ceiling rafter.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: April 20, 2026 (2 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: celebration, nightlife, sex
Sensitivity: Dark