Not a Match

I was at a speed dating event, looking for a partner who can light my cigarette.

The first candidate started telling me about how smoking is actually really bad for me.

I told him that I appreciate his intention, but it’s not a match.

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My boyfriend and I were frustrated because we never seem to be

My boyfriend and I were frustrated because we never seem to be on a vacant-enough flight to join the mile-high club, so instead we ate a handful of mushrooms and fucked. That still counts, right?

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Posted: April 17, 2026 (4 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: aging, food, relationships
Sensitivity: PG-13