Put Me Down for a Five

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Police have been called to an apartment, and upon arrival find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.

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The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“Yes,” says the woman.

“Did you hit him with that golf club?”

“Yes, yes, I did.”

The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

“How many times did you hit him?”

“I don’t know — put me down for a five.”

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500 Votes Per Boob

Well, another election in my household has passed and the results are in: The Sex-Every-Sunday Referendum was defeated soundly, 1000-1. I knew agreeing to the 500-vote-per-boob Electoral College would come back to haunt me.

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Posted: May 18, 2026 (1 month ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: death, domestic violence, golf
Sensitivity: Dark