The Three Stages of Marital Sex

A young man is getting ready for his wedding with his dad’s help.

While dressing, the dad says, “So you’re okay on the sex thing, right, son?”

“Yeah, sure, Dad. It’s all cool.”

The dad continues, “So you’re familiar with the three stages of marital sex, are you?”

“The three what?! Whatever, Dad. I got it!”

“No, really,” says the dad. “There are three stages of marital sex.”

“Okay, Dad. I’ll bite. What’s the story?”

The dad says, “There’s honeymoon sex, holiday sex, and hallway sex.

Honeymoon sex is what you would expect – you and your wife can’t get enough of each other. You’re constantly going at it.

But as life gets busy with kids, careers, and bills, the holiday sex stage takes over. You really only have time to get intimate on special occasions.

Then, finally, you reach the stage of hallway sex.”

“What’s that?” the son asks.

“Well, basically, that’s when you and your wife pass each other in the hallway and say, ‘Fuck you.’”