Old Mr. Patterson, the tightest man in town, was lying on his deathbed. As his final wish, he asked to be alone with his lawyer, his doctor, and his pastor.
“I know I can’t take it with me,” he whispered, “but I’m going to try.” He handed each man $150,000 and said, “Make sure this money goes in the casket with me.”
A few days after the funeral, the pastor cleared his throat at the diner, “With a heavy heart, I confess… I only put $100,000 in the casket.”
The doctor sighed and rubbed his temples, “Since we’re being honest, I only put in $80,000 myself.”
The lawyer slammed his coffee cup down in disgust, “You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves! Taking money from a dying man?” he huffed. “Am I the only honest one here?”
He pulled out his checkbook and waved it proudly, “I wrote him a check for the full $150,000!”
Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.
Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday
No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.
