Meh Thoughts

I tried to donate a kidney but they kept asking where I got it from…

So when they burn a body at the crematorium, it’s “a respectful farewell to the departed.”

But when I do it, it’s “destroying evidence.”

My neighborhood barber was just arrested for selling drugs.

I was a customer for seven years. I never knew he was a barber.

I got fired because my boss said I was handing out too many free samples.

That’s the last time I get a job at a sperm bank.

What do you call a psychic little person who escaped from jail?

A small medium at large.

I think my cat is a communist.

All he talks about is “Mao, Mao, Mao.”

Stevie Wonder has kids he’s never seen.

Why do women love Jesus?

Because he was (spreads arms) hung like this.

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

I accidentally took my cat’s medication last night.

Don’t ask meow.