Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Taking Steps to Avoid Them

    I’m scared of elevators…

    So I’m taking steps to avoid them.

  • The Results Are Staggering

    Scientists have finished a study on how alcohol can affect a person’s ability to walk.

    The results are staggering.

  • Now She Wants to Break Three

    My daughter broke two of my Freddie Mercury records.

    Now she wants to break three.

  • It Hurts When They Boil Their Nipples

    Why don’t blondes like to breastfeed their children?

    Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.

  • How Does a Blonde Hold Her Liquor

    How does a blonde hold her liquor?

    By the ears.

  • Knock Yourself Out

    I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthesia.

    He said, “Sure, knock yourself out.”

  • Fool Me -(n) Times

    Fool me zero times, shame on nobody.

    Fool me -(n) times, where nA = {x ∈ ℝ | 0 < x ≤ 1}, -(shame) on you.

  • I Seriously Doubt My Mom Would Go for It

    I don’t think I could ever be “born again,” like some of those Evangelicals I see. I don’t remember much from the first time, but umbilical cords freak me out, and I seriously doubt my mom would go for it.

  • The Hard Disk

    Last night, my friends and I went to a geek strip club called “The Hard Disk.” Lame, you say? What if I told you they only charged $20 for a laptop dance?

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