Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • They’ll Turn on You

    Never trust a doorknob.

    They’ll turn on you.

  • He Wanted to Maintain His Rank

    My father was an officer in the Army but he never showered.

    He wanted to maintain his rank.

  • No But I Have a Boyfriend

    I finally worked up the courage to ask my blind coworker if she was currently seeing anyone.

    She said, “No, but I have a boyfriend.”

  • To Scale or To Look At

    My dad just finished making a model of Mount Everest.

    I asked him if it was to scale… He said, “No, it’s to look at.”

  • Jokes About Retired People

    I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.

  • Won’t = Wo Not

    Quick tip for those who are struggling with English:

    Don’t = Do not

    Won’t = Wo not

    Stay tuned for more tips.

  • A Pirated Copy

    My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, “Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father.”

    I think he got a pirated copy.

  • I Have Contacts

    I’ve just been pulled over by a police officer. He saw my license and said I’m supposed to be wearing glasses. I said I have contacts.

    He said he didn’t care who I knew.

  • You Guys Have No Life

    What did Earth say to the other planets?

    Wow, you guys have no life.

  • It Was Actually Salsa

    I thought the audience was throwing tomato sauce at the tango dancer, but it was actually salsa.

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