Meh Thoughts

What’s made out of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A Shoe!

What’s the difference between Black Eyed Peas and chickpeas?
Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song, while chickpeas can only hummus one.

What’s long, hard and given to most Polish Women at Least once a month?

A GED Test

What’s long, hard to get your tongue around, and given to a Polish woman by her husband on her wedding night?
His last name.

What’s the difference between a dog leash and the French Revolution?
One is a reign of terror, the other is a rein of terrier.

Why don’t lesbians like being told what to do?
They don’t like mandates.

Delivering pizza in a small college town can lead to unanticipated embarrassment.

I really wasn’t expecting to see my English professor at the door. And then I had to figure out how much to tip him.

What do cannibals serve at the start of a party?
Handshakes.

My wife complained that I don’t treat her like I did when we were dating.
So I took her to dinner and dropper her off at her parent’s house.

The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.