The Potato in the Speedo

A guy is having trouble getting women’s attention at the beach. He tells the lifeguard:

“I’ve walked past every woman on this beach and none of them so much as glance my way. I’m even wearing my best Speedo to show off all the work I’ve put in at the gym. I don’t know what else to do.”

The lifeguard says, “Oh, that’s easy! Just put a potato in your Speedo and you’ll have all their eyes glued on you. Trust me.”

So the next day he does just that, and then goes to see the lifeguard:

“Hey man, so I did get a lot of looks, but not quite what I was expecting. They all looked completely disgusted and appalled, and not turned on at all.”

So the lifeguard looks down at his waist area:

“Okay, well, I guess I should have specified — you have to put the potato in the front of your Speedo.”

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I really mean it when I say I just want my wife to be happy.

I really mean it when I say I just want my wife to be happy. Of course, if I could be happy, too, that would be good. And if we could both be happy at the same time, maybe involving whipped cream and some edible underwear, that would be even better.

Posted: April 16, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: death, health, relationships
Sensitivity: PG-13