Why a Beer Is Better Than Women

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.

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2. A frigid beer is good.

3. A beer doesn’t care when you come home.

4. When a beer goes flat you can toss it.

5. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.

6. A beer never gets a headache.

7. If you pour a beer right, you always get a good head.

8. You can share a beer with a friend.

9. You always know when you’re the first one to pop a beer.

10. A beer is always wet.

11. You can have a beer in public.

12. You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

13. A beer doesn’t get pregnant.

14. A beer doesn’t have parents.

15. You can say whatever you want to a beer.

16. A beer doesn’t care if you are late.

17. And you can always have several different beers and not feel guilty.

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My Butt on the Account

My mouth keeps writing checks my butt can’t cash, so I got my butt on the account, too. Unfortunately, it tends to blurt out my account number at inopportune times, like it did when I was applying for a mortgage last week. At least that’s what I told the loan agent.

Posted: April 20, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: drugs & alcohol, gender, relationships
Sensitivity: Questionable