Who the Hell is Bob?

There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll. He brought her back to the states and they were very happy. He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had.

Every day it was, “Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have.”

Every night it was, “Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have.”

Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, “Beautiful Butt.” So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, “There is no way I can get ‘Beautiful Butt’ on your tiny little beautiful butt. But I can put a nice ‘B’ on each cheek which will stand for ‘Beautiful Butt.’”

A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B’s. Well the big day arrives and after a candle light dinner, gifts, and a sip of brandy, she appears in the bedroom in her birthday suit, turns around and bends over.

Quickly sitting up he exclaims, “Darling I love you, but who the hell is Bob?”

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As Close As I’m Allowed to Get

I tried to come up with a joke about restraining orders. But this is as close as I’m allowed to get.

Posted: April 24, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: marriage, relationships, tattoos
Sensitivity: PG-13