Top 16 Signs Your Penis is a Finger

16. “But officer, she asked for directions!”

15. You’re the only guy at your gym who’s got a French manicure between his legs.

14. Your wedding ring keeps falling off in the shower.

13. Restraining order keeps you out of Yellow Pages offices nationwide.

12. “Not tonight, baby — I’ve got a hangnail.”

11. Madge calls the cops when she discovers you soaking in the Palmolive.

10. Your rabbi is also your manicurist.

9. A few words into your “I did not have sexual relations” finger-wagging speech, Helen Thomas faints dead away.

8. Getting to third base is now a ground-rule home run.

7. You now get arrested for giving someone the finger — even in New York City.

6. Millions of pianists in the world, but there are chords that only *you* can play.

5. Aunt Norma won’t let you play “Chopsticks” at the family reunion anymore.

4. You sprout wood every time someone cuts you off in traffic.

3. Even Fox has to go to commercial when you throw your knuckleball.

2. Your nose-picking habit is cured — and your belly button is squeaky clean!

1. “With this ring I thee– HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!”

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]