Pretend Im Not Home

My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.

Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, “What should I feed Lily for lunch?”

“That’s up to you,” I replied. “There’s all kinds of food. Why don’t you pretend I’m not at home?”

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, “Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh… what should I feed Lily for lunch?”

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Having my 4/20 party on 5/5, because fuck the man and his

Having my 4/20 party on 5/5, because fuck the man and his “calendars.” Also, who’s coming to my barbecue on 7/4?

Posted: April 30, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: domestic life, marital humor, parenting
Sensitivity: Clean