Put On Two Coats

Written by

in

It was a hot and humid July afternoon, when I decided to visit my girlfriend, Susie. Susie may be blonde and beautiful, but sometimes she is, shall we say, lacking in other areas.

Well Susie had decided her kitchen needed repainting, and instead of hiring a professional, decided to do it herself. I thought she might appreciate a break and brought over some cold beer and some sandwiches.

When I arrived, I found Susie working hard painting the kitchen walls. But instead of wearing old clothes, she was wearing her fur coat and her ski parka.

I asked her why she was dressed that way on such a hot day. She brought me the paint bucket and told me to read the instructions. I did.

It said… “For best results, put on two coats.”

Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.

No public regrets yet
Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 characters. Moderated before public embarrassment.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

I’m not saying humor turns me on. I’m just saying that my chair

I’m not saying humor turns me on. I’m just saying that my chair turns into a Slip-‘n’-Slide after reading a good HumorLabs issue.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.

Posted: May 1, 2026 (2 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: childhood, domestic life, misunderstanding
Sensitivity: Clean