Pulled Over for Swerving

The police pulled me over last night and said, “Sir, do you realize how badly your car was swerving between lanes?”

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I said, “I’ve had eight drinks, officer.”

The officer replied, “Sir, that’s no excuse to let your wife drive.”

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There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick

There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick to the crotch, there will be no more sperm in “eye.”

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Posted: May 18, 2026 (3 months ago)
Views: 0
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Topics: alcohol, driving, marriage humor
Sensitivity: Dark