Cinderella and the Pumpkin Diaphragm

Once upon a time Cinderella was getting ready to go out on a date with Prince Charming. She approaches her Fairy Godmother and asks for some birth control.

“Absolutely not!” says her Fairy Godmother.

“Fine,” says Cinderella. “But just remember this when there are a bunch of little princes running around.”

So her Fairy Godmother thinks about it and relents. “Okay,” she says, “I’ve turned this pumpkin into a diaphragm. However, you’d better be back before midnight, because that’s when it will turn back into a pumpkin.”

So Cinderella goes out, and her Fairy Godmother is waiting for Cinderella to return. It’s midnight, then 1:00, then 2:00.

Finally Cinderella comes staggering in at 2:30, a dreamy look in her eyes.

“Where have you been?” demands her Fairy Godmother.

“Out,” says Cinderella.

“Didn’t that diaphragm turn back into a pumpkin at midnight?”

“Yes.”

“Well… what happened?” asks her Fairy Godmother.

And Cinderella says, “I met the nicest guy… named Peter Peter.”

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The second rule of Fight Club is: Don’t whistle songs from “The Sound of Music.”

The second rule of Fight Club is: Don’t whistle songs from “The Sound of Music.”

Posted: May 21, 2026 (4 months ago)
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Topics: birth control, fairy tales, romance
Sensitivity: PG-13