Tom and the Alaskan Party

After 25 years in the liquor business, Tom quits, buys 50 acres in remote Alaska, and lives in total peace with no visitors for six months.

One day, there’s a knock. A huge, bearded man says, “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from 40 miles up the road. Having a party Friday at 5. You should come.”

“Sounds great,” says Tom.

Lars starts to leave, then adds, “Gonna be some drinkin’.”

“No problem—I can handle that.”

“Probably some fightin’, too.”

“I get along with folks—I’ll be fine.”

“Maybe some wild sex, too.”

“Even better!” Tom grins. “What should I wear?”

Lars shrugs. “Don’t matter… just gonna be the two of us.”