If you ever make the grueling trek to speak to the wise old man who lives at the top of the mountain and he lets you ask one question of him, don’t make the mistake I did and blurt out, “How’s it hangin’?”
Delivery Style: anecdotal
Anecdotal joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Birds and Bees: No Homework Allowed
My mother told my father to tell me about the birds and the bees. He took me to Coney Island, pointed to a couple making love under the boardwalk, and said, “Your mother wants you to know that the birds and the bees do the same thing.” –George Burns
A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, “My mom says I can take the course as long as there’s no homework.”
“Mom, I’m pregnant.”
“How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?”
“That I should take measures. That’s what I did! I took measures and then went with the biggest.”“Sex education has its own special problems,” an instructor in the field pointed out to me. “One of my students has become pregnant, and I don’t know whether to flunk her or give her extra credit.”
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Birds and Bees: A Comedy of Misunderstandings
My mother told my father to tell me about the birds and the bees. He took me to Coney Island, pointed to a couple making love under the boardwalk, and said, “Your mother wants you to know that the birds and the bees do the same thing.” –George Burns
A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, “My mom says I can take the course as long as there’s no homework.”
“Mom, I’m pregnant.”
“How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?”
“That I should take measures. That’s what I did! I took measures and then went with the biggest.”“Sex education has its own special problems,” an instructor in the field pointed out to me. “One of my students has become pregnant, and I don’t know whether to flunk her or give her extra credit.”
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Grandma’s Shock at Modern Sex Education Curriculum
Grandma, who was living with her daughter’s family, let her 11-year-old grandson in from school. “What did you learn today?” she asked.
“Sex education. All about penises and vaginas and intercourse and stuff,” he replied matter-of-factly.
The old woman was shocked and reported the conversation to her daughter.
Her daughter replied, “Mom, this is the Nineties. These days it’s all part of the curriculum.”
A few hours later, the grandmother was reading when her daughter announced dinner was ready. Grandmother walked past her grandson’s bedroom and noticed him on his bed, vigorously masturbating.
“Sonny,” she said, “when you’re finished with your homework, come on downstairs to eat.”
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Freddo’s Magical Tongue Gets the Girl
This guy walks into a bar carrying a shoe box, and proceeds to sit down and places the box on the bar. As the night rolls on and a beauty sits next to him he can’t help but notice her curiosity with the box. So after a while he asks her if she would like to receive the best tongue sex of her life.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
IT Guys Such Dicks
Why are IT guys such dicks?
Last week I drove two hours to push the power button on a server that three separate people assured me was already on.
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Virgin Birth Claims Destroyed by Medical Reality
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter’s swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, “Your daughter is pregnant.”
The mother turned red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex before marriage.
The doctor faced the window and silently looked out to the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, “Quit looking out the window! Aren’t you paying attention to me?”
“Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma’am. It’s just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they’d show up again and confirm this very rare immaculate conception.”
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Toilet-Training Transferability
As I watched my two-year-old drag his naked bottom across the carpet, I realized that perhaps I overestimated the transferability of the toilet-training skills I had initially honed with our puppies.
