An older gentleman had his car stopped at a red light when a young rich asshole hit him with his Impala. Though the impact barely made a dent in either car, when both drivers went out to assess the damage, the asshole went ballistic.
“Look what you did to my Impala! It’s ruined! I’m gonna sue you! You owe me a new car.”
The older gentleman looked genuinely remorseful. “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think I can afford to replace an Impala.”
“Then I’m gonna beat your ass right here!” the asshole retorted.
The older gentleman looked at the asshole. “I have a better idea. My son is visiting for the holidays, he’s in the passenger seat of my car. You two can fight it out, since I clearly would be no match for you in a physical fight. If you win, I’ll gladly pay for a new Impala, but if he wins, you knock off this nonsense.”
“What does your son do for a living?” the asshole asked.
“He trains dolphins.”
The asshole laughed. “Trains dolphins? Easy fight. OK, call your son here.”
The older gentleman called for his son. A minute later, a tall, extremely muscular young man in a Navy uniform steps out and proceeds to beat the asshole into pudding in ten seconds. The son then looks at his father and says:
“Pop, I keep telling you, I train SEALs, not dolphins.”
Add to the Chaos. Got a better punchline, worse take, or public cry for help? Drop a one-liner. Approved replies show up here after moderation.
Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday
No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.
