Iced Tea With Two Ladies

Two southern ladies were sipping iced teas on a warm afternoon.

The first one wiggled her wrist and bragged, “See this tennis bracelet? My husband gave it to me just because.”

The second lady nodded and politely said, “Bless your heart.”

The first one then twirled her pearl necklace with her finger and said, “My husband gave me this for my birthday. Don’t you just love the luster?”

The second lady said, louder this time, “Bless your heart.”

The first one then said, “See this two-carat diamond ring?” Waving her hand in front of the second lady’s nose, she added, “My husband replaced my wedding ring with it because he is now so well off!”

The second lady exclaimed, “OH, BLESS YOUR HEART!”

The first lady then smugly said, “No offense, but what did your husband get you?”

The second lady replied, “He paid for me to go to charms school.”

“Oh dear, so what have you learned?” inquired the first lady condescendingly.

The second lady said, “We learned to say ‘bless your heart’ instead of ‘F*uck you!’”

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I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a

I’d like to be crowned Ms. Filthy Ruminations. Instead of a sash, I think I’d wear some crotchless panties and sparkly pasties. Now who do I bribe to get the title?

Posted: September 16, 2026 (1 week ago)
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Topics: family
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