This Is Going to Be Loud

A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened?

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

The blonde said, “Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait a minute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don’t want to ruin it. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait a minute, I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don’t want to ruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just had these boobs done, and I don’t want to ruin them! So then I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this is going to be loud!”

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 · Moderated before publishing.

I was in such a hurry when I left the beach that I didn’t bother changing before racing

I was in such a hurry when I left the beach that I didn’t bother changing before racing home. Wouldn’t you know it: I got pulled over and given a Speedo ticket.

Posted: May 1, 2026 (5 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: body image, dark humor, suicide
Sensitivity: Dark