Virgil Won

Two old brothers — Hank and Earl — had a lifelong rivalry going with their neighbour Virgil, all three of them living in the same remote corner of northern Montana, where winters were the kind of cold that made your eyebrows hurt.

One February evening, the three of them were nursing drinks at the only bar in town, and the argument that started every year around this time broke out again.

“Boys,” said Hank, “I’m telling you right now — my place is the coldest in the county.”

“Ha,” said Earl. “You’ve never even spent a night in my cabin.”

Virgil just smiled into his glass and said nothing, which irritated the other two more than any boast could.

They agreed to end the argument once and for all. First stop was Hank’s place.

He led them to the porch, filled a tin cup with water from the tap, and flung it into the air. It hit the ground as a solid disc of ice.

“Not bad,” said Virgil. “Not bad at all.”

Earl just raised an eyebrow.

Over at Earl’s cabin, he stood in the doorway, drew a long slow breath, and let it out. The exhale left his mouth as a mist — and then clattered to the floor in a tiny frozen clump.

“Alright,” Hank admitted. “That’s cold.”

But Virgil still hadn’t said a word.

When they reached Virgil’s cabin, he didn’t take them to the porch or the doorway. He took them straight to the bedroom.

He pulled back the blankets on the bed and carefully lifted something out — a small, perfectly round ball of ice. He carried it to the kitchen, set it on a spoon, and held a lit match beneath it.

The three of them stood in silence, watching it slowly thaw.

And then, the moment it softened just enough —

“FFFAAAARRRRTTT!”

Virgil won.