Words at the Funeral

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A man asked a widow if he could say a word at her husband’s funeral.

“Certainly,” she replied.

He stood up and said, “Plethora.”

The widow smiled and said, “Thanks, that means a lot.”

Another man stood up and said, “Bargain.”

The widow replied, “Thanks, that means a great deal.”

Yet another stood up and said, “Earth.”

“Thanks,” she said. “That means the world.”

Another man stood and said, “Infinity.”

The widow smiled and replied, “Thanks, that means more than you can imagine.”

Yet another stood up and said, “Retirement.”

The widow said, “Thanks, my husband would have loved that.”

Finally, one man simply held up a sprig of Mentha spicata.

The widow smiled and said, “Thanks, that’s a lovely scent of mint.”

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If you meet a girl just a-walkin’ down the street, singing “Doo

If you meet a girl just a-walkin’ down the street, singing “Doo wah diddy-diddy, dum diddy do,” snapping her fingers and shuffling her feet, she’s probably not exactly right in the head, and you’re better off not making her acquaintance. Unless she’s got big tits. REALLY big tits.

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Posted: June 21, 2026 (13 hours ago)
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Topics: marriage
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