Bad News and Very Bad News

A doctor calls his patient and says, “I have some bad news and some very bad news.”

Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash Chaos

The patient asks, “What is the bad news?”

The doctor replies, “Your test results came back and say that you have a fatal condition that will cause your death in 24 hours.”

The patient says, “That’s terrible! What is the very bad news?”

The doctor replies, “The results came back yesterday, but I was busy playing golf.”

Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

Heckle this joke

Got a better punchline or a worse take? Drop a one-liner.

Nobody has heckled this yet. Suspicious restraint.

Optional. Bad aliases encouraged.

0/280 · Moderated before publishing.
Related chaos

More chaos like this

Related punchlines from nearby corners of the joke swamp.

Joke Afternoon Tea With Cannibals Joke Volunteering at the Cancer Ward Joke Tied to the Railroad Tracks Joke At the Top of the Cliff Joke Waiting at the Bottom of the Bridge Joke ISIS Training Camp and a Pakistani Elementary School

More posts

My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they

My girlfriend has the most amazing tits ever. In fact, they should be in the Titsonian.

Posted: May 4, 2026 (5 months ago)
Views: 0
Shares: 0
Topics: bureaucracy, death, medical
Sensitivity: Dark