’Cause You’re Ugly

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a two-pound can of coffee, and a one-pound package of bacon.

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As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

He said, “You must be single.”

The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, looked at her six items on the belt.

Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections, she said, “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “’Cause you’re ugly.”

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Take on an Empty Stomach

Doctor: “Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed you last month?”

Me: “It says to take on an empty stomach, so no, I haven’t had the chance.”

Posted: April 20, 2026 (5 months ago)
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Topics: daily life, nightlife, relationships
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