Order Up: Cheeseburger or Hand Job?

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00

He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

“I was wondering,” whispers the man, “are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”

“Yes,” she purrs. “I am.”

The man replies, “Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger.”

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After I won the lottery, my family and friends told me they’re worried I might not be

After I won the lottery, my family and friends told me they’re worried I might not be mature enough to handle all that money wisely and end up just blowing it on something stupid. That’s total nonsense. Besides, what do I care what they think? I’m lighting my farts with hundred-dollar bills!

Posted: March 17, 2026 (6 months ago)
Views: 0
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Topics: drugs & alcohol, food
Sensitivity: PG-13