Give me liberty or give me a grilled cheese sandwich! But go ahead and make it with two heels and over-char it a little on one side, so as not to make me look like a complete wuss.
Meh Thoughts
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If I ever start a religion, it’s definitely going to require human sacrifice —
If I ever start a religion, it’s definitely going to require human sacrifice — beginning with the next Jehovah’s Witness that comes to my door.
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Touch my junk?
Touch my junk? If you give me twenty dollars you can haul it away!
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My wife and I want to have a baby.
My wife and I want to have a baby. Well, my wife wants to have a baby; I just want to have sex.
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My dog and I probably need to seek relationship counseling.
My dog and I probably need to seek relationship counseling. I’m looking for nurturing, playful companionship and he’s preoccupied chasing tail.
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Sure, I procrastinate sometimes.
Sure, I procrastinate sometimes. But I still think it’s important to keep the “Christ” in “Presidents Day.”
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During tough economic times like this, I take stock of my life and realize if I’d gone
During tough economic times like this, I take stock of my life and realize if I’d gone to an Ivy League college instead of a state school, I’d still be goofing off right now, but with a much higher salary.
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True, every kiss begins with Kay.
True, every kiss begins with Kay. But guys who expect a little more in return for their gem purchases know the place to buy jewelry is Bjorn’s.
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This morning, I woke up on the floor next to some nameless Wal-Mart greeter, both of us
This morning, I woke up on the floor next to some nameless Wal-Mart greeter, both of us naked and covered with Cheez Whiz. Well, there goes THAT resolution.
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I’ll bet Facebook would be even more popular if there were a way to add Friends With
I’ll bet Facebook would be even more popular if there were a way to add Friends With Benefits.
