They say the airport in Denver is pretty big. I dunno… I only passed one Seattle’s Best, one Caribou Coffee, and two Starbucks between the ticket counter and my gate.
Meh Thoughts
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To Beat the Crowd
Why do riot police go to work so early?
To beat the crowd.
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I’d like to see George Lucas use his sci-fi revisionism powers for good, like updating
I’d like to see George Lucas use his sci-fi revisionism powers for good, like updating that classic “Star Trek” episode to include a harmonica-playing Spock accompanying Captain Kirk on “Nobody Knows the Tribbles I’ve Seen.”
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Gorgeous as they are, I’m nevertheless terrified of looking at
Gorgeous as they are, I’m nevertheless terrified of looking at my girlfriend’s breasts. Maybe I have A-rack-nophobia.
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I cried because I had no foreskin, until I met a man who had no penis.
I cried because I had no foreskin, until I met a man who had no penis. On second thought, maybe that was a lady.
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I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like
I love it when you say things at work that can sound dirty, like “When do you get off?” or “Hey, wanna fuck me on the copier?”
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True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
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Whoever said “Babies don’t come with an instruction manual” obviously never purchased
Whoever said “Babies don’t come with an instruction manual” obviously never purchased one on the Internet.
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Leashes and Revolutions: A Punny Comparison!
What’s the difference between a dog leash and the French Revolution?
One is a reign of terror, the other is a rein of terrier. -
I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles,
I sometimes imagine myself as a cold-blooded python with massive rippling muscles, capable of suffocating and devouring large prey, yet burdened with a tiny brain. Occasionally it can be healthy for me to get in touch with my inner pro wrestler.
