My wife asked me if I wish she had been born with big tits.
I told her that I find big tits on babies disturbing.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Spreading Butter
Getting a woman to spread her legs is
a lot like spreading butter on bread…You can do it with a credit card but
it’s easier with a knife -
Handshakes: Cannibals’ Party Starter!
What do cannibals serve at the start of a party?
Handshakes. -
Apparently, to my husband “Happy Valentine’s Day” means “Yes!
Apparently, to my husband “Happy Valentine’s Day” means “Yes! I’m finally getting anal!”
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I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer,
I wish my blind date hadn’t told me he was a poultry farmer, because now I feel compelled to keep checking out his cock.
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When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought
When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought it was because I was sweet and smelled nice. Turns out it was because of all the little pricks I’ve had in my bush.
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Oral Sex Makes Your Day
Q: What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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Free of charge
The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
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My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the
My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the Halloween party we’re attending. Awesome! When we get back home, tonight’s rectal thermometer session will be that much more authentic.
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Books on Turtles
[Walks into bookstore]
Me: Do you have any books on turtles?
Worker: Hard back?
Me: Yeah, with little heads.
