Meh Thoughts

Do you know what’s great about orcas?
They do a killer whale impression.

The FDA just approved a medication for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycocksagain.

How do you spot a blind person at a nude beach?
It’s not hard.

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law.
A great lawyer knows the judge.

What do you call someone in India with great intuition?
Sikh sense.

I went to the library and asked the librarian where I could find books about conspiracy theories. She leaned over and whispered:
“They are right behind you.”

Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer.
Cannibal 1: Does this taste funny to you?
Cannibal 2: No

Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One turns to the other and says, “Hey, I think we got the joke wrong.”

Five years ago I started a game of Gay Chicken with my friend.
Now we own a dog together, we moved to Vermont to start a cute little bed and breakfast, and we’re thinking of adopting a kid. If he doesn’t give up soon, I think he might actually be gay.

I didn’t want to admit I was gay and dyslexic.
I was in Daniel.