Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Professional Hide-and-Seek Tournament

    I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

  • Three Tons of Hair Stolen from Wig Factory

    Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.

    Police are combing the area.

  • Incomplete Download

    I think my porn was not completely downloaded

  • Which Father Leaves

    If two gay Black men get married and adopt a baby, which father is supposed to abandon the family?

  • Books on Turtles

    [Walks into bookstore]

    Me: Do you have any books on turtles?

    Worker: Hard back?

    Me: Yeah, with little heads.

  • Spreading Butter

    Getting a woman to spread her legs is
    a lot like spreading butter on bread…

    You can do it with a credit card but
    it’s easier with a knife

  • Amazon Driver Work From Home

    My wife orders so much from Amazon that if I got a job as an Amazon driver they’d probably just let me work from home.

  • One for the Road

    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.

    He says to the bartender, “Two beers please. One for me, and one for the road.”

  • No Words to Describe How Angry I Am

    I recently ordered a thesaurus online and when it arrived it was blank. I literally have no words to describe how angry I am.

  • The Wurst Is Yet to Come

    I ordered some German food from DoorDash. The sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come.

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