As the nurse unwrapped the bandages, I was horrified to discover I now looked like Tom Wopat. That quack plastic surgeon must have given me Luke-tox injections by mistake.
Meh Thoughts
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I began to suspect that something was very wrong when the time management seminar went
I began to suspect that something was very wrong when the time management seminar went into its third week.
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Every time I look in my mirror I appear to be 30 pounds heavier and eight inches shorter.
Every time I look in my mirror I appear to be 30 pounds heavier and eight inches shorter. That’s the last time I buy used furniture at the carnival.
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Note to employees: The statement “Think outside the box” does *not* constitute
Note to employees: The statement “Think outside the box” does *not* constitute permission to leave it.
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Thomas Wolfe was wrong, you *can* go home again.
Thomas Wolfe was wrong, you *can* go home again. In fact, sometimes it’s strongly encouraged, like when you forget to wear pants to work.
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It’s a shame that whether or not I had a good Christmas will mostly be determined by
It’s a shame that whether or not I had a good Christmas will mostly be determined by whether the world ends before I receive my credit card bill.
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All sunglasses, no matter how expensive, pretty much look the same after you sit on them.
All sunglasses, no matter how expensive, pretty much look the same after you sit on them.
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Nursery rhymes are crucial in aiding young children to make sense of life’s baffling
Nursery rhymes are crucial in aiding young children to make sense of life’s baffling complexities. I mean, who’d want their kid freaking out every time they see a weasel spontaneously combust while fleeing from a mulberry-bush-orbiting monkey?
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Wouldn’t it be great if pharmacies had people handing out samples like they do at the
Wouldn’t it be great if pharmacies had people handing out samples like they do at the supermarket? I guess the drug companies just aren’t as market-savvy as those pork rind people.
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Barring a rash of immaculate conceptions, you’ve got to think we’re on our last
Barring a rash of immaculate conceptions, you’ve got to think we’re on our last generation of on-line gamers and role playing geeks.
