I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said, “Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup…”
It was a French toast.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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What to Do With All the Extra Tacos
My kids refused to eat leftover tacos for dinner, so my wife told me to just throw them out.
Now I don’t know what to do with all the extra tacos.
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The Penfish Is Even Mightier
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from…
…except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
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Take on an Empty Stomach
Doctor: “Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed you last month?”
Me: “It says to take on an empty stomach, so no, I haven’t had the chance.”
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It Folded
After I invested all my spare cash into an origami business, it folded.
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A Remarkable Guy
My friend Mark changed his name to something else, but now he’s thinking about changing it back.
Truly a remarkable guy.
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So Full of Himself
Did you hear about the arrogant cannibal who started eating his own arms and legs?
He was so full of himself.
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This Thing Changes Everything
I got a new universal remote last week and let me tell you, this thing changes everything.
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Because I Don’t Do Any of These Things
Nobody sees the 5am runs.
Nobody sees me choosing a salad over fries.
Nobody sees me doing yoga in a peaceful sunlit room.
Because I don’t do any of these things.
