Did you hear that the CEO of Ikea was just elected president of Sweden?
He is still assembling his cabinet.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Making Headlines Everywhere
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines everywhere!
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His Mourning Coffee
What is the funeral director’s favourite drink?
He can’t start his day without his mourning coffee.
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Insufficient Funds
Banks should do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled.
This is the fifth one I’ve been to that says Insufficient Funds.
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You’re Much Bigger Than That
My wife told me, “Don’t get upset if someone calls you fat.”
“You’re much bigger than that.”
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Doctors Have Described His Condition as Stable
BREAKING NEWS: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
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Genealogist vs Gynecologist
What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
One looks up your family tree. The other looks up your family bush.
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Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper
I couldn’t sleep last night because I realized Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have the same middle names.
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Bad Brakes Have Never Stopped Me Before
It’s probably not safe for me to be driving right now.
But, hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
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Do Not Resuscitate
I gave my wife a bracelet that belonged to my grandmother. I thought that it was a caring gesture. My wife was not happy.
The bracelet said, “Do Not Resuscitate.”
