They say the biggest sexual organ is really the brain. I still kind of like my huge, throbbing meat missile though.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even
Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even more so when I looked up to notice the smartphone-illuminated meth-mouth of the hooker who was riding me at the time.
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Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out
Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out in a place where discovery of the activity would be extremely awkward, such as at the urinal, in one’s cubicle or waiting at the drive-thru at In-and-Out Burger.
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I highly doubt they’ll be able to find 12 other bipolar
I highly doubt they’ll be able to find 12 other bipolar anal-insertion fetishist
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There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right
There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right decision to meet with your doctor about your sex addiction than your masturbating to the breast-self-exam pamphlet in the waiting room.
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After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t
After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t remember whether she told me that she was a “virgin” or a “vegan.” So on our first date I hedged my bets by banging her *and* bringing her a salad.
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Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me ’cause I won’t let you cum in my hair.
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Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a
Memo to my blind date: It doesn’t matter if I’m a virgin or a vegan, I just wanted you to eat ME, dork.
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My girlfriend is ridiculously sexy. In fact, she brought the
My girlfriend is ridiculously sexy. In fact, she brought the sexy back so far, I had to buy a DeLorean just to sleep with her.
