Delivery Style: anecdotal

Anecdotal joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I still remember the day in English Second Language class when

I still remember the day in English Second Language class when we were asked to fill
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity

It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity raffle was literally a “liquor basket,” and didn’t have anything at all to do with the woman who sold me the ticket.
I gave a presentation today in front of 50 people and ended up

I gave a presentation today in front of 50 people and ended up doing a power puke into the garbage can next to the podium. I was later reprimanded by my boss, who told me a real woman would have swallowed.
Well, I guess I’m not going to host a foreign exchange student

Well, I guess I’m not going to host a foreign exchange student after all. Here’s a tip: You don’t want to specifically ask to get a sexy uninhibited Italian girl with huge tits. That seems to raise a red flag with the interviewers.
I always thought the lyrics were, “Love me tender, love me long,

I always thought the lyrics were, “Love me tender, love me long, take my legs apart.” It would be nice if someone had corrected me *before* I sang it at my sister’s wedding.
This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought

This morning I was licking a delicious Tootsie Roll and thought to myself, “Who cares how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center? It’s the licking for hours I’m good at and enjoy so much.”
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you

Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every

There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every sentence and tries to finish it for you. In response, I’ve started ending all my sentences with “that fucks a donkey.” It hasn’t really stopped her from trying to finish my sentences, but it’s gotten me a LOT of attention from the Human Resources folks.
Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man

Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man making lunch for his wife before he leaves for work. At least that would explain the snickering when I told my co-workers that I tossed my wife’s salad this morning.
I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me

I guess I can be pretty naive. When my e-Harmony date texted me that he “couldn’t wait to spend time looking at the top of my head”, I thought he was just really tall.