I was having lunch with my girlfriend the other day when I unexpectedly got a really fierce hard-on. Sure, it was kind of embarrassing, but at least I had somewhere to put the pineapple rings when I went for seconds at the buffet.
Delivery Style: anecdotal
Anecdotal joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally
When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally probed. I don’t remember what the alien looked like, though, because it disguised itself as my wrestling coach and forced me to drink a mind-control drug from a tequila bottle.
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My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey
My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey Mouse bobblehead. I maintain that with all that alcohol in my system, it looked exactly like a butt plug.
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I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While
I made the mistake of shopping for a new bed with my wife. While the salesperson was more than happy to indulge her questions about “plushness” and “comfort,” all I received was blank stares when I voiced concerns about the bedframe’s durability when I’m ramming it home.
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I’ve got some wacky church camp stories! Like the time a youth
I’ve got some wacky church camp stories! Like the time a youth minister crawled into my tent naked after he said a bear stole his clothes.
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While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller”
While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller” video in the middle of the zombie dance. My youngest son said, “I bet that’s what Michael looks like now.”
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My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong
My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.
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Is That All You People Think About?
Two Jews are walking down the street when they come upon a Christian church with a sign: “Come in! Convert to Christianity and receive $100!”
One Jew says to the other, “I’m going in to see if getting $100 is this easy!”
When he returns, he’s wearing a necklace with a cross. His friend points at the cross and says, “What’s that? Did you really convert?!”
“Yes, I did. I’m now Christian.”
“Well, did you get the $100?”
“Is that all you people think about?”
