Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
Delivery Style: narrative
Narrative joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in
One minute we were working side by side, and the next we were in the supply room, tearing off each others’ clothes. I guess it was just the sperm of the moment.
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Talk about pulled in two different directions: When her lips
Talk about pulled in two different directions: When her lips finally parted and she took my penis in her mouth, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. But after I forgot to warn her I was about to cum, I thought she’d murder me.
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If you meet a girl just a-walkin’ down the street, singing “Doo
If you meet a girl just a-walkin’ down the street, singing “Doo wah diddy-diddy, dum diddy do,” snapping her fingers and shuffling her feet, she’s probably not exactly right in the head, and you’re better off not making her acquaintance. Unless she’s got big tits. REALLY big tits.
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There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every
There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every sentence and tries to finish it for you. In response, I’ve started ending all my sentences with “that fucks a donkey.” It hasn’t really stopped her from trying to finish my sentences, but it’s gotten me a LOT of attention from the Human Resources folks.
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(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who
(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who sucked cock like she was a Hoover. Till the day she got ticked And bit off a dick, Then swallowed it like an hors d’oeuvre.
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My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey
My girlfriend is all pissed off because I ruined her Mickey Mouse bobblehead. I maintain that with all that alcohol in my system, it looked exactly like a butt plug.
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When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley
When she said was into leather and chains, I bought her a Harley riding jacket. When she said she liked watersports, I naively showed up with my snorkel. So today when she told me she had some shit to do around the house, I decided to stay away altogether, just in case.
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You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only
You know that feeling you’ve experienced something before, only it’s not *exactly* the same as you remember? Well the prostitute told me we should call it a “déjà do-over,” right before she noted that when we were college classmates together, she was a man.
