Delivery Style: surprise twist

Surprise twist joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Wayne’s Whore

    A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

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    Little Wayne says, “I wanna start out as a fighter pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”

    The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Wayne, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

    “And how about you, Sarah?”

    “I wanna be Wayne’s whore.”

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  • The Kia vs. the Rolls-Royce

    A man driving a Kia stops at a traffic light next to a Rolls-Royce.

    The Kia driver rolls down his window and calls out to the Rolls-Royce driver, “Hey, pal, that’s an impressive car. Does your Rolls have Wi-Fi? My Kia does!”

    The Rolls-Royce driver replies, “Yes, it has Wi-Fi.”

    The Kia driver continues, “Nice! And do you have a fridge in there? I have a fridge in the backseat of my Kia!”

    The Rolls-Royce driver, getting irritated, responds, “Yes, there’s a refrigerator.”

    Not backing down, the Kia driver asks, “That’s cool, man! What about a TV? I’ve got a TV in my Kia’s backseat!”

    The Rolls-Royce driver, increasingly annoyed, says, “Yes, there’s a television. A Rolls-Royce is the epitome of luxury vehicles!”

    The Kia driver says, “Amazing car! But do you have a bed in there? I’ve got a bed in the back of my Kia!”

    Frustrated that his car lacks a bed, the Rolls-Royce driver speeds off. He heads straight to the dealership and orders a bed to be installed in his Rolls. The following morning, he picks up his car, and the bed looks fantastic, complete with silk sheets and elegant brass accents. It’s undoubtedly a bed suited for a Rolls-Royce.

    The Rolls-Royce driver spends the entire day searching for the Kia. Finally, late that night, he spots the Kia parked with fogged-up windows. He gets out of his Rolls-Royce and knocks on the Kia’s window. At first, there’s no response, but then the owner pokes his head out, dripping wet.

    “I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce,” the Rolls-Royce driver declares smugly.

    The Kia driver replies, “Did you really drag me out of the shower just to tell me that?!”

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  • After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my

    After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my long-distance girlfriend’s amazing naked body via webcam today. Now I just pray she doesn’t find the hidden camera.

  • At first I was put off when she invited me back to her place and

    At first I was put off when she invited me back to her place and it reeked of urine. Then when she told me that she doesn’t have pets, I was totally turned on.

  • Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my

    Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my boyfriend. He appreciates it and says it makes it feel like he was in the room.

  • Well, the test results are back, and it turns out you *can* get

    Well, the test results are back, and it turns out you *can* get a disease from a toilet seat — especially if you have sex with a heroin-addicted hooker on it.

  • I was relieved when my co-worker told me my fly was open so I

    I was relieved when my co-worker told me my fly was open so I could quickly zip up. I only wish she had warned me about my protruding, twitching member beforehand, too.

  • Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s

    Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s along the lines of, “Because of the infected calluses, use Lefty this week.”

  • My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our

    My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our taxes. What she doesn’t know is that my process involves writing “I.R.S.” on the forehead of a blow-up doll and repeatedly ramming it in the ass.

  • (Jilly G.) It finally dawned on me that I had a sex addiction

    (Jilly G.) It finally dawned on me that I had a sex addiction when I found myself asking the pharmacist what I could use to treat penis calluses.