Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • How much younger she looks

    Today I gave the hospital permission to youthanize my grandma. I can’t wait to see how much younger she looks!

  • Look like you don’t know anything

    It’s not what you know or who you know.
    It’s how to look like you don’t know anything.

  • My family finding that

    If I die right now, my last Google search will be “carry testicles in milk crate,” so I look forward to my family finding that.

  • Other words and phrases

    I bought a pen that can write under water…
    It can also write other words and phrases.

  • He’s pure bread

    I can’t take my dog to the park anymore because the ducks keep biting him.
    I should have known better.

    He’s pure bread!

  • I had to put my foot down

    My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo…
    I had to put my foot down.

  • Nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me

    I shot the sheriff and the deputy.
    Now there’s nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me from being together!

  • Try again, Einstein

    Day after day, the same guy keeps taking my favorite parking space at work, so I keep keying the sides of his car. And each morning, he shows up again with it painted a new color and with a different license plate, just to confuse me. Ha! Try again, Einstein!

  • Neurosurgeon Girlfriend

    I had to break up with my neurosurgeon girlfriend. She was messing with my head.

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