Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village when suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush.
The first nun screams to her friend, “Quick, show it your cross!”
“Get the fuck out of the way!” she yells.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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It must be the cobblestone
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.” -
A pain in the ass
My wife and I tried anal.
She loved it, but for me, it was a pain in the ass. -
Best wingman ever
I asked my best friend to be my wingman and boast about me while I was talking to a girl I like.
It backfired horribly when he told her I’m the best sex he ever had. -
Say fuck at the same time
How do you get 29 nice old ladies to say fuck at the same time?
Have the 30th nice old lady say, “Bingo!” -
BINGO
What has 75 balls and fucks old ladies?
BINGO. -
Well, that didn’t work
My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…
I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.
She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.
After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”
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Its name is deceiving
Do not buy a Dyson Ball Vacuum.
Its name is deceiving. Don’t ask how I know. -
Back at work tomorrow
A morgue worker died today.
But he’ll be back at work tomorrow. -
Here comes the second one
How do terrorists feed their children?
“Here comes the airplane.”
“Here comes the second one.”
