I was fine trying a reverse cowgirl for my man, but I still think it was overkill when he branded my ass.
Meh Thoughts
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I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang
I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang lots of meat euphemisms, like “slipping her the sausage.”
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I think a better name for a threesome is “Trifuckta
I think a better name for a threesome is “Trifuckta.”
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I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull
I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull rider, lasting 8 seconds would win me a lot of rodeo competitions.
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They say the biggest sexual organ is really the brain. I still
They say the biggest sexual organ is really the brain. I still kind of like my huge, throbbing meat missile though.
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Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even
Looking over my 401(k) statement recently made me queasy — even more so when I looked up to notice the smartphone-illuminated meth-mouth of the hooker who was riding me at the time.
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Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out
Fasterbate; verb – to attempt to quickly finish rubbing one out in a place where discovery of the activity would be extremely awkward, such as at the urinal, in one’s cubicle or waiting at the drive-thru at In-and-Out Burger.
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There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right
There’s probably no clearer sign that you made the right decision to meet with your doctor about your sex addiction than your masturbating to the breast-self-exam pamphlet in the waiting room.
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After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t
After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t remember whether she told me that she was a “virgin” or a “vegan.” So on our first date I hedged my bets by banging her *and* bringing her a salad.
